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Thursday, 20 October 2011

Do we belong to the same species?

I don't know if these points can be genralised for all men, but at least this is what's happening with my man and from what I've heard from friends I'm not the only one with a "Hard to Understand" partner. And I thought sharing these thoughts might help you and me relax a bit and accept them as they are.


Ok, let's go:

1. Men hate shopping - Never ever go shopping with your man. They tend to have this constipated look (I pray my hubby never happens to come across my blog), which ruins the kicks we females get out of shopping, even if its only to buy the groceries. And five minutes into the thing he'll get started with the, "Come on let's get going" line, eventually forcing you to give in. And the next time you mention shopping, he'll wail, "But we already did our shopping last weeeeeeeek".

2. Do not let him handle that shopping cart!! - This is a corollary, to point 1. Now, if at all you have the bad fortune of shopping with your man, never entrust the shopping cart or basket to him, because, by the time you've decided on which cereal to buy for the kids, or contemplated which Hair conditioner will resolve your irrevocable hair-fall issue (there's always so many options and way too many brands), you will find no sign of your cart, or your man for that matter. You run around the aisles, playing hide and seek, your arms loaded, and finally you locate him, pushing that trolley towards the checkout counter as though he's on some mission.

3. Men sleep over their arguments - If you have an argument with your spouse or BF the previous day, it ceases the moment he wakes up from his nap. If you sulk about it, you get this weird look which interprets as - Argument? We? When? You wonder whether they have a serious case of Amnesia. And since they have got over the issue, it means we get over it too. No Questions!


4. They Forgive but NEVER Apologize - Now, if you have a misunderstanding and somewhere along your guy realizes that he's made a mistake, they'll say, "OK, I forgive you" (!!!!!????). You do a double take and leash out at them, for their audacity to say something so......(I'm at a loss for words) They'll never follow your disagreement, "I forgave you, now what's the problem?" is how they retort, which leads to yet another squabble. Trust me, the next time be wiser and save your breath. They really are very dense most of the time.


5. Men are not equipped to multitask - This is nothing new now. Its an already proved scientific fact. You wake up in the morning, have breakfast prepared, get kids ready for school, pack their tiffins, drop them off at the bus stop, have lunch preparation in progress, bathe and get dressed, and yes without fail serve him a cup of tea as well, phew I'm simply exhausted listing it out and you hear him yelling out for his socks. If I was going around the house like Katrina or Irene before, I feel like turning into something more destructive now. Comeon, atleast they can learn to fend for themselves, even if they don't contribute to the N number of chores we already handle.


6. Ask Mummy - OK, this is the only positive trait which puts you in a better light. But it also means more work for you. Whenever, my kids approach him with doubts or school work, he's so lazy to pitch in (90% of the time), "Why don't you ask your Mumma?" is the usual reply they get. My youngest one recently had a doubt whether her father had actually attended school( ha ha ha ha, that reminds me, I need to post some of the great ingenious thoughts of my 6 year old)


7. Override Mummy - This is in direct opposition to the point above. And this happens when the Kiddos need permission to do something, for which they have approached you and you have already denied them. And my Kids are soooooooooooo cunning!! They make a request to their father right after having heard my NO, coz they are certain that he'll agree with them and may be even join them in the escapade, making you look like the villain in the family. Includes stuff like watching TV, eating chocolates or ice cream, skipping their bath.


Oh! I could go on and on cribbing about my man, even though I love him to pieces. But you are welcome to contribute those very evident traits men have and we fail to digest.

8 comments:

  1. :-) Lolz...

    Heard about ladder theory??? You should, if you haven't!

    Women - 2 ladders.
    Men - a single ladder.

    Quite some thought went into it.

    Cheers,
    rsivanandan

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  2. 8) Men can't understand the need to have a seperate shower gel, soap, shampoo and conditioner, face scrub, face wash etc in your bathroom. One of my friends, who had come visiting, went into my bathroom, came out a little dazed and exclaimed"If I had that many things in my bathroom, I would shower for a month!"

    9) They'll tease and rag women for watching serials, but if a cricket/football match/news is on, they will not notice even if you appear before them in the latest Victoria's Secret lingerie.

    10) Even if you're the winner of MasterChef India's new season, they will unfailingly compare your cooking to their mom's.

    11) They can figure out complicated routes in seconds, but somehow can't figure out the way from the bathroom to the place where wet towels are hung. They give up their search right at the bed.

    Men.. what will we ever do without them? :P

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  3. Very very true Shadia!! Comparing your list with my list of observations, you score very high!!
    Runa

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  4. rsivanandan - I went and researched the ladder theory, but I really couldn't understand what that has to do with this post. I think you just reassured me that men really do speak an alien language, which we'll never understand, and off course you probably never understand ours either.

    Spaceman - I couldn't agree more on each and every one of your points. The In-Laws, I'd purposely kept out coz my post would be a never ending one then.

    runros - Guess everything comes at a price :)

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  5. I reckon the post is a result of exhaustive research, so kudos to you on that.

    I`ll have to partially disagree with you on point No-1, the college going herd of men today shop almost as viciously as their female counterparts but the other points were sort of bang on.

    Nice and fun read this one was. Keep 'em coming.

    Cheers :)

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  6. AtroScrib - Research? Hell, no. But I sure had to prioritize.

    Thank you for the tributes. I need all the goading there is, to keep going.

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  7. 1,4 and 5 do not apply to me at all. I love shopping for clothes and books. :)
    And I am very good at multitasking. I have picked up my wife's jaw a lot many times from the ground. :)

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    Replies
    1. :) Amit, there is always an exception to the rule. And may the Good Lord bless mankind with many more like you ;) I really envy your wife now.

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