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Thursday, 20 October 2011

Do we belong to the same species?

I don't know if these points can be genralised for all men, but at least this is what's happening with my man and from what I've heard from friends I'm not the only one with a "Hard to Understand" partner. And I thought sharing these thoughts might help you and me relax a bit and accept them as they are.

Ok, let's go:

1. Men hate shopping - Never ever go shopping with your man. They tend to have this constipated look (I pray my hubby never happens to come across my blog), which ruins the kicks we females get out of shopping, even if its only to buy the groceries. And five minutes into the thing he'll get started with the, "Come on let's get going" line, eventually forcing you to give in. And the next time you mention shopping, he'll wail, "But we already did our shopping last weeeeeeeek".

2. Do not let him handle that shopping cart!! - This is a corollary, to point 1. Now, if at all you have the bad fortune of shopping with your man, never entrust the shopping cart or basket to him, because, by the time you've decided on which cereal to buy for the kids, or contemplated which Hair conditioner will resolve your irrevocable hair-fall issue (there's always so many options and way too many brands), you will find no sign of your cart, or your man for that matter. You run around the aisles, playing hide and seek, your arms loaded, and finally you locate him, pushing that trolley towards the checkout counter as though he's on some mission.

3. Men sleep over their arguments - If you have an argument with your spouse or BF the previous day, it ceases the moment he wakes up from his nap. If you sulk about it, you get this weird look which interprets as - Argument? We? When? You wonder whether they have a serious case of Amnesia. And since they have got over the issue, it means we get over it too. No Questions!

4. They Forgive but NEVER Apologize - Now, if you have a misunderstanding and somewhere along your guy realizes that he's made a mistake, they'll say, "OK, I forgive you" (!!!!!????). You do a double take and leash out at them, for their audacity to say something so......(I'm at a loss for words) They'll never follow your disagreement, "I forgave you, now what's the problem?" is how they retort, which leads to yet another squabble. Trust me, the next time be wiser and save your breath. They really are very dense most of the time.

5. Men are not equipped to multitask - This is nothing new now. Its an already proved scientific fact. You wake up in the morning, have breakfast prepared, get kids ready for school, pack their tiffins, drop them off at the bus stop, have lunch preparation in progress, bathe and get dressed, and yes without fail serve him a cup of tea as well, phew I'm simply exhausted listing it out and you hear him yelling out for his socks. If I was going around the house like Katrina or Irene before, I feel like turning into something more destructive now. Comeon, atleast they can learn to fend for themselves, even if they don't contribute to the N number of chores we already handle.

6. Ask Mummy - OK, this is the only positive trait which puts you in a better light. But it also means more work for you. Whenever, my kids approach him with doubts or school work, he's so lazy to pitch in (90% of the time), "Why don't you ask your Mumma?" is the usual reply they get. My youngest one recently had a doubt whether her father had actually attended school( ha ha ha ha, that reminds me, I need to post some of the great ingenious thoughts of my 6 year old)

7. Override Mummy - This is in direct opposition to the point above. And this happens when the Kiddos need permission to do something, for which they have approached you and you have already denied them. And my Kids are soooooooooooo cunning!! They make a request to their father right after having heard my NO, coz they are certain that he'll agree with them and may be even join them in the escapade, making you look like the villain in the family. Includes stuff like watching TV, eating chocolates or ice cream, skipping their bath.

Oh! I could go on and on cribbing about my man, even though I love him to pieces. But you are welcome to contribute those very evident traits men have and we fail to digest.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011


I had one of those very uneventful days, which took a turn for the better. Woke up late this morning, no power supply (Groan!!!!!), rush around getting kids ready for school, serve breakfast, clean up the mess scattered all over the house, make beds, broom,.....Its a never ending list, the compilation of which is arduous in itself.
And home makers all over the world probably go through the same motions every day of their life. And if on any given day you choose to be a bit lax, all hell breaks loose, making you wonder, why you thought you could get away with a bit of laziness. That's one thing I envy all those maidens out there for. You don't want to make your bed, fine, no one's going to raise hell, except probably your mother, whose tantrum you are used to.
Ok, where was I? Ya, so the day passed without any dramatic events, except for the fact that there was still no power, but since we have an inverter, there was no excuse for keeping away from my office work. (I don't know if I've mentioned earlier, but I've recently quit my full time office work and now work from home. Unfortunately, other than the fact that I don't need to dress up for work, everything else seems unchanged.)
Kids got home by 4 in the evening, and after the playback of their entire day at school, bath, tea,.......(You know the continuation of the previous never ending list) they settle down for their studies. The inverter has reached its limit by now and starts beeping non stop. So I shut it off and there being no lights, my trio wander off to play, lighting scented candles all around the house. Its drizzling outside and dark inside, I should be feeling gloomy, but for some reason, sitting alone on my balcony, in pitch darkness, listening to the sounds of nature, the rain, frogs, insects and somewhere in the background, I hear my daughter practicing for her Indian Patriotic song competition, a song with a Hindustani classical touch. I got out a straw mat and lay there on the floor, with my eyes closed. Alas! The tranquility was lost with the restoration of power. 
I guess the word "Earth Hour" makes sense to me now. My energy levels already seem to have peaked and will see me through the week without feeling down. And plan on doing this more often. An escape from reality and all the mundane routine, into a serene world, even if only for an hour. 

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Managers in the making

I sometimes get the feel that I have 3 managers in training at my house. And it irks me big time. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......

Ok, now what basically do managers do? "They control or direct an institution or operation", says the dictionary. And in my personal opinion, a manager is one, who not only ascertains that his subordinate is loaded to the max, but also never appreciates his/ her efforts. And off course blame them for all the failures in an operation.
Now where do my managers come in? I'll explain. I have 3 angels, who are perfect (OK, not so flawless actually) until you ask them to do something. The moment I ask my eldest one to help me out with something, I hear her yelling out to her younger ones and breaking down the task, assigning them to do it. Three people being there on the job I hope something will come out of it.

Ha! And what do I see when I come in? Nothings accomplished. I call out my eldest who had been initially handed the job and there comes a plethora of excuses, explaining how she had very effectively and promptly appointed the second one to do this and the third one to do that and that its their incompetency that has left the task unaccomplished. This leads to a big drama with one pointing the finger at the other, a lot of screaming, wailing and a little bickering too. Which leaves me wondering why I called them in for help in the first place.
There's no one to blame too. Their excuses go something like the...Anybody was supposed to do it, but Everybody thought that Somebody would do it and then Nobody did it.
I don't know about you, but I think I get some idea of what really happens in some of those big corporate offices or better still in our ever efficient government offices.
So, with 3 people helping me around the house, I end up doing more than my fair share of the work. And add to that the mess that comes from their attempts at assistance. I prefer to make do with their moral support these days. You know the big broad smiles, hugs and affectionate kisses. Its a lot better deal to strike out, compared to the horrible hardship of being a manager.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

Ignorance is Bliss

My sister in law recently gave birth, to a healthy young boy, which brought back memories of my first personal exposure to motherhood. Since I have 3 girls, aged 12 to 6, I come under the experienced and wiser category I presume. But thinking back to that first time I can't help laughing. Ignorance sure was bliss. Going through the daily ups and downs of taking care of the family, I often wonder if I would have willingly stepped into the role, not because I detest it, but due to the impending fear of failing miserably.

I got married during my first year of college. Falling pregnant was not on the agenda, but it somehow happened when I was in my final year. There were a host of emotions that coursed through my mind, regret, anxiety, joy. And though I had to put up, and also at times give up, I really treasure the memories of those wonderful days.

It left me pretty exhausted at the end of my tiring days at class. There were days of sickness, days when all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed. Rushing off to sites to work on my projects was arduous too.

Days went by, and there were times I wished I could just let go of everything and simply enjoy my very pregnant state. I had just completed my 7th Semester exams in the evening and planned on relaxing until classes started for the next Sem. Being 36 weeks pregnant only made the break all the more appealing.

But as the saying goes,  Man proposes, God Disposes, I went into labour the following morning.

Though, physically I was feeling like a wrung out wash rag, mentally I was elated. My beautiful little daughter was sleeping away after her feed. She looked so peaceful and angelic. Come night time, I tell my mother, "Now that this whole pregnancy drama is behind me, I'm going to have a good night's sleep. With the baby kicking and boxing inside I could hardly sleep these past few months. (And my my, sleeping was actually a hobby of mine.)". My mother gave me a look of concern (now I realise that it was pity actually). She told me with a very grave expression, "Honey I think the days for sleeping are over!"

I just stare at her in stunned silence, which is broken by my wailing daughter. She was wet. We change her and settle for the night. I lie down still pondering over what my Mom had said. There goes my little one again, time for her feed. This kept happening all through the night.

In the weeks that followed I realised the implication of her words. And I finally had to accept the fact that the days of sleeping were really really over. And that's the most precious preoccupation I gave up I guess. OK, that was round one of stepping into the Mummy shoes.

Then one by one I had to give up on many of my personal luxuries. There used to be a time when I wondered how my mother had her bath in 5 minutes, because my bathing regimen took close to an hour. Now its my mother's turn to be astonished coz I dash in and out of my bath in less than 3 minutes. The last time she visited me, I couldn't help laughing at her shocked expression, when I got out of the bath. "I guess the days for bathing are over too!", I told her over merry tears of laughter.

There are several things I've learned over the years, and sure am the wiser for all that knowledge. There's going to be more surprises along the way, some pleasant others not. But I choose to remain, gladly unaware of the mysteries of motherhood that are yet to be unearthed. So I'm blissfully ignorant, until I'm hit by the next brick of motherly wisdom.